87 days until I’m in your arms again
(Source: theirgraves)
(Source: youjustinspiredme)
(Source: perfectbucketlist)
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Logan sang along to this in the car on the way back from kayaking yesterday… It’s been in my head ever since.
“I get to kiss you just because I can” </3
July 6th can’t come fast enough… (7 monthiversary road trip to see him =])
(Source: somegirlsart)
Funny how 340 miles can feel like a thousand </3
(Source: i-wonder-if-you-still-care)
just for once i want to know what it is like to be the one who doesn’t text back
the one who isn’t waiting for the person to respond
the one who doesn’t fall in love so much faster than the other person
and the one who doesn’t get their heart broken in the end
Home?
I moved back to my “home”-town today from college
But it doesn’t feel like home anymore.
Sure, I get to see friends from high school, but we had already been apart from each other for a year before leaving for college.
Sure, I get to see my family. But my parents raised me right so it wasn’t so hard living without them by my side.
Sure, I get to not do homework and go to classes constantly, but I enjoy that type of schedule. I enjoy that much activity and structure in my day. I count on it.
Yeah, I can look at the bright side. It’s only summer, a little over three months. I can exercise a lot and get into great shape. I can make a ton of money. I can practice my butt off and write a ton of music so I start school in the fall ahead of the game.
But the reality isn’t the bright side. The reality is, it’s three months and that’s 1/4 of a year. You can ask anyone, but to me that seems like a pretty significant chunk of time. The reality is, my support system, my “person” isn’t with me. He’s 6 hours away, and who knows how often we’ll get to see each other between now and fall semester. The reality is, my real family was comprised of the people I met and the relationships I formed between September and now. The reality is, that as much as I want this to be easy I know it won’t be. The reality is, I still don’t have a job so who knows if I’ll make any money. The reality is, who knows how much I’ll be able to practice because of getting my tonsils out.
On the other side, it could be a lot worse. We could live near each other but go to school 6 hours apart. I could’ve been totally unprepared for college making this seem like a gigantic relief. I could not have a support system or a “person” at all. I could’ve been a loner all year and not made any of the amazing friends that I made.
My honest opinion. This is awful. It’s too long. It’s hard and unfair (and yes, I know life is hard and unfair). It is nearly physically painful. I don’t belong here anymore. I don’t feel welcome or at home. It feels foreign and uncomfortable. I want to curl up in a ball and just cry, and I want for my family to accept that I need to do that to feel better and get past this. I want to be with my boyfriend, my support system, my “person”. Because, in all honesty, I love him. And I wish I wasn’t too scared to tell him that before I left this morning. He never judges me. He never yells at me. He never thinks less of me. He just accepts me for all of me. From every fragile crack, to the insecure clouds, to the strong walls, to the smart words, to the brave and beautiful actions, and everything in between. He likes me just for me, the way it should be. And I like him just for him.
Home?
Not really. Not anymore.
Home doesn’t exist. It isn’t a concrete place. It’s a feeling.
Sometime, this place will be home again.
But right now, it isn’t home.
Not even close.
Ferrets in a bathtub!!!! <3
(Source: shoulderblades)
(Source: braveryequalsstupidity)
